Trigger Warning! (Miscarriage mentioned)

LETS START!!!

First of all I opened this account in 2019 after I had my miscarriage but I couldnt write anything! Forgot about it and now June 5th 2021 heres my first blog!!

In 2007 I had my 1st Child! I was 24 Now my son is Currently 13! It seems like just yesterday I peed on the pregnancy test, the best of it Is me and at the time boyfriend (husband now of 11 years) had only been together 5 Months! Yeah I know crazy right??

It’s sad because with bringing a new baby into the world its supposed to bring families Together and Stronger!

Not mine, to say my folks were raging is an understatement, let’s just say I moved out and I havent spoke with them in 14 years. They didn’t agree with the baby, they hated my boyfriend/husband now, and I wanted my baby more than anything! I also wanted Craig (bf/husband)

I will never forget the day my dad came over, Cody (my son) was only weeks old& told me they wanted nothing more to do with me! Believe it or not this all happened when Craig was in a shower! Quick right!

I couldnt cope, I couldn’t function and I couldnt understand what and how this happened! I ended up with depression! My poor baby Cody never left the house, we were always on pyjamas, I never played with him! You best believe to this day I’m still riddled with guilt and hate myself for that!

I never had support, I never had a shoulder to cry on, craig worked every single hour of every day. I felt so alone, So traumatized, angry at myself and so mad at everyone.

There is absolutely no point in going into all the detail, as that is not going to benefit anyone especially me! It’s taking me 10+ years to get over it and fully move on from my parents! It doesnt haunt me anymore so I’m not going to stir up the past! I will never forgive them!

In 2009 me and Craig got married! We got married June 18th! And believe it or not our honeymoon baby was conceived! Baby Aaron born in 2011!

I will never forget that day we went to the 20 week scan! As happy as i was (I’m not ashamed to say this) I had gender disappointment!

For weeks and weeks leading up to the 20 week scan everyone told me it was a girl. I had pretty much convinced myself! Thankfully that disappointed only lasted half a day!

In 2015 I had back to back Miscarriages! I was 8 weeks and 6 weeks!

2016 we went to America for 3 weeks and had a baby scan in Universal studios! It’s a boy!! Now this time I didnt have gender disappointment (even though people kept going on and on about a little girl) After the Miscarriage I didnt care the sex of the baby I just wanted the baby!

In 2017 my Rainbow Baby Noah was born! We are not religious! So why is name! When I first heard the term ‘Rainbow Baby’ I started Googling and came across Rainbow Baby Names! Well

Noah:- After the storm comes the Rainbow! Yesssss!!!

In 2019 I fell pregnant with baby number 4! I will never forget my 12 week scan, my baby had past at 13 weeks! I think it was a girl, I think all 3 miscarriages have been girls!

May 2021 my little one should have turned 1!

Now my Journey takes a massive Turn!!

Let’s start the Blogs!!!!

“Good company in a journey makes the way seem shorter”. — Izaak Walton