Scream!!

Do you ever just wanna scream?? Like proper from the bottom of your Lungs and just let it all out!

None of this silent screaming, None of this Screaming into your pillow! Not even screaming in your head… I mean

The middle of Nowhere, down on our knees , Thumping the ground Loud ass full blown scream !!!

And just asking the question Why?

Why is this happening to me?

Why am I always unlucky?

Why do I have to fight so hard every day?

Why is day to day life a struggle?

Why is it so much pressure?

Why?????

In bed 1.08am wide awake Emotional feel like the world on my shoulders feel like everyone is going places in every aspect of their life, feel like I’m drowning and I just wanna scream!! I just wanna let it all out! I just want to release the pressure and let the world know I’m angry, I’m Fraustrated, I’m annoyed and you know what …..

That’s ok!! Its ok to feel this way! It’s ok to have these days! it’s ok to feel every emotion go through you! Its OKAY!!!

FRIDAY 16TH JULY 12pm…

**This apparatus looks scary but it’s not!!!**

I really need you to read this blog!!

The reason for the Capitals isnt because I’m shouting it’s because it’s such an important date and I want to highlight it and get your attention!!

The date- I had my SMEAR TEST!

Let’s talk about that shall we, I was nervous, embarrassed & Uncomfortable but you know what I am so glad I got my act together made that appointment for 12pm , i went to my appointment, lay on that bed and got the 2 minute procedure done! The nurse was amazing she was as gental as she could be while she was being as thorough as possible!

I get it ladies, I get all the feelings and all the paranoia that goes through your head leading up to that moment of getting your smear test done or The paranoia of how bad the procedure is gonna be that you just can’t book it!!

I promise you I have had those exact same thoughts and feelings, I make it bigger in my head than what it actually is! I promise you the nurse has seen thousands of Vagina’s she doesnt care if your waxed, if your hairy , your bare, clean shaven or have an afro down there she cares that you have plucked up the courage to go and get the 2 minute test done! I test that could potentially save your life!

I would rather be uncomfortable, nervous and Anxious for 10 Minutes (the Smear itself is 2 minutes if not less/the appointment as a whole was 10 minutes) than finding out I had Cervical Cancer!

Please!! Please Ladies find that strength in you, be brave and book that appointment when your letter comes through the post, Please Go to that appointment! Put your big girl pants on chin up push your fears aside March in that room and have that test done!! I know you can do it!! You got this!!

Not to sound brutal but if you get Cervical Cancer the last thing you will be worrying about is how clean or shaved your Vagina area is!! Dont let your head scare you! YOU CAN DO IT!!

Summer Holidays!!

And just like that my boys are on 5 weeks holiday from School! ( they have already had 1 week -they get 6 in total) To make it clear that’s 24/7 for 6 weeks!!! 3 kids- There Boys! 13,10&4!!

I mean I always cope, I always survive but this time its different, I feel like they have only just went back to school from there 19 months off of school because of Corona!

The fights, the bickering, the tantrums, the lack of respect, the only eating junk food, the lack of routine, trying to get them to bed, heck even trying to get them away from there Consoles!! The one I’m most famous for is giving in so I just get a little bit of peace and quiet!

I’m beyond the counting to 10! I’m beyond deep breathes ! I’m beyond sitting on my toilet and having my own time out! Has it been 5 weeks yet!!

I’m tired, I’m moody, I’m deflated, pjs are my best friend and dont even get me started on a Mum Bun!!!! Gosh I’m pretty sure I’m due my period as well! Look out boys!!!

Tell me in not the only mum feeling this way with the Summer Holidays!!

I mean it’s not like I can take them out every single day!! Who the heck can afford that!!

Having a teenager is a fight in itself with trying to get this dude out of his room, or gosh take a bowl hes left in his room for 3 days to the sink! Dont even get me started on trying to get him in the shower! Did I say Im beyond counting to 10!!

Through all of my rambling did I mention I’m not even a coffee drinker! Drinking during the day is frowned upon right?? Though to be fair my 10am is someone in another countries 5pm? That works right!

As I write this at 10.03pm thinking I’m done for the day..my 4 year old has woken up and shouting he needs a pee! I guess after that its bedtime for me before I have to do it all over again!

Mums we can do this! We can boss the Summer Holidays! Mum’s hell we are SUPERWOMEN!!